WickedAI
Lord of the Rings Disco: One Funk to Rule them All (on YouTube)
lyrics compiled by Magnuz of Sweden from YouTube automatic transcription, listening.
The elves were given the ethereal high notes of glam rock.
The dwarves were gifted the heavy base of metal.
And the race of men desired above all else the catchy hook a pop.
But they were all deceived, for another track was made.
In the land of Mordor, in the fires of Mount Doom,
The Dark Lord forged a master track.
And into this composition,
He poured his cruelty,
His malice,
And his will
To get down.
Instrumental
Down in the dark, beneath the roots of stone,
That creature they called Gollum, he was dancing all alone.
But then a Mr. Baggins, he came sneaking through the gloom,
Where he found a golden circle that would seal his fate with doom.
They played a game of riddles in the cold and pitchy black,
With the creature getting closer for a juicy hobbit snack.
But the burglar held a secret that he kept inside his coat.
And his question was a weapon pointed at the creature's throat.
The ring betrayed its master. It wanted to be free,
To find a brand new keeper for its disco melody.
He slipped it on his finger and he vanished into air.
Then he left the creature screaming in a panic of despair.
But when you put it on, you feel the fever start.
A heavy baseline thumping deep inside your tiny heart.
It spins you round and round til you're caught inside the trance.
There's simply no escaping the dark power of the dance.
You can hide from all your friends but not the lidless eye.
It sees you burning brightly beneath the Mordor sky.
The wraiths are riding out upon their horses' back.
There is only going forward and there is no going back.
Cause there's just one funk to rule them all.
And just one funk to find them.
Just one funk to bring them all.
And in the disco bind them.
The age of men is coming to an end.
You have no ally and you have no friend.
Surrender your will to the beat of the drum.
The time of the orc has finally come.
My eye is open and my vision's wide.
There's nowhere left for you to hide.
I see the hobbit and I see the king.
I am the lord of the disco ring.
Just one funk to rule them all.
Just one funk to find them.
Just one funk to bring them all.
And in the disco bind them.
Instrumental
The ring passed to his nephew, who was barely 33,
A spritely lad named Frodo and his friend Samwise Gamgee.
But the wizard saw the danger in that precious elven gold,
So he cast it in the fire and it came out burning cold.
You have to keep it secret and you have to keep it safe,
Or you'll find yourself in danger from the evil shadow wraith.
Our poor hobbits had to leave the Shire,
With the riders on their tail.
Even Strider knew that things were dire,
And the mission couldn't fail.
They found safety in the elven valley,
With the council of the wise.
But the men of Gondor wouldn't rally,
They had fear inside their eyes.
One can't simply walk right into Mordor,
Through the shadow of the eye.
Bit the hobbit said he'd cross the border,
Or at least he had to try.
Every step you take is getting slower,
The burden cuts into your skin
While the base is getting ever lower,
That's when the voices start to win.
I can make you powerful and strong.
Its temptations tearing you apart?
I can make you play the perfect song.
Disco darkness in your heart.
The ring, it whispers silky silent secrets.
It puts your spirit to the test.
The rhythm sends a shiver down your spine.
Forget about the wizard and the quest.
It will tell you things you'll want to hear.
Just put me on and take the throne.
You've been struggling for so very long.
Now you'll never dance alone.
Cause there's just one funk to rule them all.
And just one funk to find them.
Just one funk to bring them all.
And in the disco bind them.
The age of man is coming to an end.
You have no ally and you have no friend.
Surrender your will to the beat of the drum.
The time of the orcs has finally come.
My eye is open and my vision's wide.
There's nowhere left for you to hide.
I see the hobbit and I see the king.
I am the lord of the disco ring.
Just one funk to rule them all.
Just one funk to find them.
Just one funk to bring them all.
And in the disco bind them.
Frodo stood above the sea of fire,
And refused to let it go.
He had claimed the funk as his desire,
Then disappeared, as Samwise shouted "No!"
Funky Frodo appeared with just nine fingers.
He had lost the ring of doom.
Why does he have nine fingers?
Where is the ring of doom?
That creature Gollum held it to the sky,
Then in his mania he fell.
And he took the magic of the eye,
Back into the pits of hell.
The dark tower has fallen.
The master track is silenced.
The time of the elves is over.
But the funk,
the funk belongs to the age of man.
One funk to rule them all.
And just one funk to find them.
Just one funk to bring them all.
And in the disco bind them.
Just one funk to rule them all.
Just one funk to find them.
Just one funk to bring them all.
And in the disco bind them.
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created 2026-02-10 and last updated 2026-02-12 by Magnuz of Sweden.